i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
