We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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