I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
