At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
