What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
