I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Randomize
