Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
