this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's rum buckets o'clock
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
