The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
