So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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