i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
