So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
