the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
