I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
