so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
