You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I look better un-naked...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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