His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
