I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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