you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
