Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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