they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
