me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
A bitchslap is in order.
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