You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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