I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
