one might say we're banned from that church
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
