dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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