yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
