i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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