There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
