I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
