Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I am available for nakedness
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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