The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize