I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
