hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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