a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Your penis caused this!
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