nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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