another moral hangover. fuck.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize