would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
