I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize