I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
