I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
