She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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