I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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