There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
