Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
