You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
