Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
