So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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