He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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