He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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