I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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