I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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