Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
