You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
