Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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