Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
