Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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