Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This is classic penis vs brain.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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