when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
The ass gains better be worth it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize