Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think my moral compass just broke
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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